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meladoodle:

godlykesha:

meladoodle:

one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’

is this the same dad that once called you dad

no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads that ive synthesised in my home lab in the basement. speaking of that, the three armed one just got out again god damnit

Psychologists say: The person who tries to keep everyone happy often ends up feeling the loneliest.
(via elauxe)

nothomo:

When your parents call you for dinner and you see they made your fav

image

swaginageorge:

Seeing a hot person walk by like

image

I forgot what I sent you
ancient snapchat proverb (via tentacoolaid)

asian:

jesus:

peklaxdog:

angel:

asian:

ejective:

if lust is a sin and im horny 24/7 does that mean i sin 24/7

I don’t mind sinning more and help you out ;)

you two need jesus

i dont think jesus was into threesomes

you don’t know me


what ur average tragedy looks like after 100 years

what ur average tragedy looks like after 100 years

woodmeat:

dickgripper:

when youre running what do your cock and balls do? do they just flap against your thighs or

my dick becomes rock hard to steer my body using wind currents, almost like a sail and said wind causes my scrotum to tighten close to my body for maximum speed